Saturday, February 16, 2013

Reflections- 23 years old, 8 month and 300 days

Good afternoon everyone. It has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. Ups and downs of life that are surely exhausting. Now, readers. I need to remind all of you, if you going to comment please make it a constructive, positive comment.

Because i am sensitive (hahah,gedik)

I was born into this world on April 24th 1989.That day mark the beginning of a man named Nuzul Fikrie Bin Salam. Born prematurely , i was putted into an incubator, cared and nursed by the hospital staff of HTAR for about 5 months if i am not mistaken. (after a visit to o&g ward , i've developed a profound respect towards medical staff, because their job is hard).

Phase 1 ( childhood)
Probably the most exciting part of my lifetime. I climbed up trees, killed a snake, almost got killed by a snake , chased a cow, being chased by a cow, almost got killed by a car, played konda kondi, played with cow and goat dung (dirty i know) ,.. a naughty kid with a good upbringing, I can describe myself as a spoiled brat.Thanks to my family.

I developed a small circle of friends , Rozai , Haqeem, Najib , Ali .. these guys colored my childhood. (Thanks guys, you're awesome). Thunder buddies for life. haha

I befriend with them from the age of 7 to 13, and then somehow, lost contact. Maybe i should establish back contact. (jot down)

(Phase  2 - Asrama, asmara? )
I got 4A and 1 B (B in Bahasa Melayu. don't ask, the results of bahasa melayu examination don't really reflect my true command in bahasa) ,jayyid jiddan in PSRA. With the help of certain individuals i was able to enter S.A.M Bestari JAIS. This is where i began to form most of my quality.

Thank you to all teachers and friends, saya jadi orang hari ini.

Most of my years, i've spent learning bout agama,PMR ,SMA and SPM. yawning in the classroom .I was lazy , half asleep most of the time and it reflects in my examinations results . ambik kau bersepai

I never good in sports, played soccer, never a good dribbler , never a good attacker or defender. A natural kaki bangku. I believe god bequeathed me with a talent in other field that i have not yet discover. But I do enjoy playing soccer, most of the lads would curse at me for my piss poor judgement and i said before, natural kaki bangku.

But still, I dreamed of emulating Xavi of barca'.

5 years had passed with joy and sadness , I sweat, I swear, I screamed ,I cried, . I smiled, I played ,I learned and is the end.

Thank you to Luqman,Afiq Muiz, Firdaus Omar, Firdaus Shafie, Shafiq Shamsuri , Hidayat, all men and women that shared with me memories, i can't thank you enough. It was awesome. I wish i could turn back times.

SPM. Got the result.I went to matriculation in Johor

a brief stint with the guys from f45 , you guys awesome, i learned a lot.

This part a bit funny, I fell in love for the first time , heart broken , kejap. stupid silly me.

phase 3 - University life. love- hate relationship

I went to UiTM - This where my persona got a bit darker.

I enrolled into electrical engineering course, dreaming of emulating the likes of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs , Newton and Elon Musk. I made friends with people from all walks of life , ada dari kedah, ada dari sabah, ada datang nun dari perlis ,ada dari kelate, hok maghi dari ganu.

They are all awesome human being that made me awesome in my own way.

Educationally wise, never was a brilliant student, I got the gist, but I was lazy , I seldom scored.
looking back at the pages of my life, i wish i had done better, oh well. move on lah mate.

Played a lot, became silly and stupid. AIYAH ,pointer bersepai.

I had accidents, making me nervous everytime i sat behind the wheels. Mind full of flashes of accidents.and death,. i practically hypnotize myself whenever i try to drive. Funny I know,. but it is true,I felt bit handicapped as a man. Lesen gantung kat leher je la.

there's one times dad forced me to drive. I slowly easing back into the driver's seat.and i drove the car safely .phew. but to this day, the phobia still there.

- love life. it was stupid -
love made men do stupid things, indeed.
I fell in love again, become stupid again, but i just can't establish a frggin relationship. "perempuan gila je nak kat kau ni.nuzul".

"kalau jodoh tak payah di kejar". she said
"kau kata kau sayang aku, bukan sayang namanya ni ",she said
maybe it is true. to some point.

so from that moment on. I stay away from women. I don't play with their heart, i'd be respectful no matter who they are.what they do.

i wander and roam this world alone most of the time. God knows what best for  me. =)

Graduation - job prospect? - nada

i am jobless. i went to interview a lot. but still cannot score a job. patiently i wait. I work myself out of this bind, cuz i believe in god 's words. with hardship there will be blessings. Ask for god's help with sabr and solah.

Maybe this is His way of saying "you did not work hard enough boy. you did not work smart enough boy.You did not pray often enough boy.You forgotten my words boy.Have faith in me boy".

I was down in the gutter literally.Broken and sad. Dejected.

and now
 I am piecing myself back together
I am climbing out of this obscurity, finding a place in the community. I want contribute, as long as god's allows me.

I believe in His plan. love, heals put me back on track.Pray for me

thank you to all my friends, .. you guys have a special place in my heart and in my mind.

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